IT was the night of the great Republican National Convention at college. For a week past, the national political campaign of that year had been in full swing, creating as much excitement and enthusiasm in the college as the real national politics of the day which it copied had been arousing in the whole country.
Caucuses had been held in all the houses, each hall representing a different state and furnishing for the convention one delegate for every ten citizens. In order that the entire college might not go Republican, as they had been known to do in the past, the houses had been apportioned to the more prominent parties by a committee of the Student League which had charge of the campaign. Strung along on the north side of the quadrangle, Porter, Safford, and Mary Brigham halls were Republican, representing the States of New York, Ohio, and Massachusetts, respectively. On the south end of the quadrangle, upholding the Democratic standard, Wilder, Mead, and Rockefeller stood as Pennsylvania, Nebraska, and Texas. Pearsons Hall, on the other side of the street, became the disputed territory of the two prominent parties, and, so as to show partiality to neither of the sides, Pearsons as Kansas, with all the small Freshmen houses off the campus, was given over to the mercies of the Prohibition party.
Porter, as New York, had had its caucus amid great demonstration, and had chosen ten delegates for the National Convention. One of these was the enthusiastic little Tommy, and Elinor Haskell went ex officio. They wanted to name Edith Brewster; but she, being a stauncll Democrat from the Mosquito State, utterly refused to take part in the proceedings which, as a Porterite, she was forced to attend.
"You can lead a horse to water," she said, "but you can't make him drink."
And in this she was seconded by Frances Chambley, who was a Southerner to the marrow.
On the same principle Gail Calder had seceded; but, being a Westerner from the State of Kansas, she was immediately adopted by the Prohibition Pearsons, and appointed to impersonate the flower of that State -- Carrie Nation.
To-night, a Saturday evening, the whole college was making its way to the gymnasium. The delegates had had their credentials carefully made out, and had to present them at the gymnasium office before they would be allowed on the floor of the convention. Both Republican and Democratic delegates attended, but the latter were to hold their convention another night. Set here and there among the seats in the body of the auditorium were standards bearing the name of each state, and under these the various delegations were being grouped. The running track was gaily decorated with red, white, and blue bunting and flags. Over the celebrities' platform was draped the large American flag from the college flagstaff, and under the arch of it was hung a great portrait of Theodore Roosevelt.
All participants were ripe for every sort of demonstration; for it must be remembered that they were now impersonating their citizen brothers. One after another came in the delegations, amid cheering from the spectators on the running track, chanting their state slogans and waving American flags. It was a busy scene. "Reporters," and some were real, were busy writing at tables by the foot of the platform; pages flitted about, with notes from one delegate to another; telegrams and messages were hurried here and there, and newspapers bearing important happenings were brought in to restless delegates, who sat with heads buried in the spread sheets, devouring the latest news. Vendors, members of the Junior class, were trying to sell campaign buttons, ice-cream cones, cakes and candy among the spectators. But these were routed out by order of the superintendent, who tefused to let them bring in anything that would soil the gymnasium floor. So they took their stand at the door of the building, and, if anything beside campaign buttons and ribbons went in, it was safely stowed away and disposed of beforehand.
And now the orchestra, arranged at the foot of the stage, began to play, for the celebrities were commencing to fill the platform. Composed of twenty pieces -- mandolins, guitars, and violins -- it added delightful music to the noise, with patriotic songs, medleys, and what nots. To the platform now were escorted Mr. and Mrs. Fairbanks, the former (let us whisper it!) a long, lanky girl, dressed in gymnasium bloomers and the coat and waistcoat of Jim Finnigan's best suit, and made ten inches taller by a top hat. Came Secretary John Hay, smiling and respectable. Came Mr. Taft, just from the Philippines, with his most winning smile, his three hundred pounds of weight eked out by numerous pillows stuffed inside the tremendously wide suit he was wearing. Came various other prominent Republicans -- all in borrowed clothes, for the townspeople were willing to give of their best. Came, by courtesy of the Republican managers, Messrs. Bryan and Parker and Hearst -- the latter preceded by a banner advertising "THE JOURNAL!" Came Carrie Nation on the gallant arm of Mr. Swallow, the Prohibition candidate, scandalizing that gentIeman by the disgraceful costume she wore, and by insisting on bringing with her her little red hatchet. All these celebrities were easily recognized; for they had been picked from the college at large as bearing the closest resemblance to their originals. Three suffragettes, attired in the severest dresses, tiny hats, eyeglasses, and fingerless black gloves, attempted to gain admission to the platform. When they were barred, they expostulated with the sergeant-at-arms and his aides, and finally stole a march on them by climbing over the footlights.
Suddenly there came a hush over the entire assembly, and the spectators on the running track craned their necks to look over the railing. The orchestra struck up "The Star Spangled Banner." Everybody rose to her feet and, partly singing, partly cheering, waving handkerchiefs, text-books some of them had brought to study from while waiting, and anything they had in hand, they greeted the newcomer. For, wending his way from the rear, escorted by the chairman of the convention, came the Honorable Theodore Roosevelt, eyes sparkling through his glasses, teeth shining out of his mustached smile, his figure dressed in full khaki of the wars. After him tagged the Roosevelt family, the youngsters, hardly kept within the bounds of good order by the anxious Mrs. Roosevelt and the nurse. It was like a triumphal procession, that march to the platform, and the candidate had to wave his slouched hat on all sides before the spectators would allow the chairman, who stood there waiting, to open the convention.
"We are gathered here to-night," she began, for she was the only "civilized" person on the platform, pretending to be nothing but what she was -- a girl, "we are gathered here to-night to name for the highest honor our country has to give, our choice, the choice of the Republican party." [She had been seen rehearsing this wonderful speech in the fields beyond the sash factory.] "It is the right of every American citizen to express his choice as to the man he thinks best fitted to hold the helm of national affairs for as the helm is turned, so will the ship go, and on the fact of whether the hand is capable or not depends the resulting fact of whether the ship will be steered to harbor or driven on the rocks.... And now, fellow citizens, will the roll of the states be called, to name this, our choice, for President of the United States."
Amid the rounds of applause that followed the chairman's address, the clerk of the convention, located at a small table at the end of the platform, arose with his book of the minutes. When the noise was hushed, he began to call the states:
"Alabama."
A delegate arose from the body of the hall.
"Alabama cedes in favor of New York," she said.
"New York," called the clerk.
From her place under the standard of that state, rose Helen Thdmpson, "fussed" but smiling. A silence of inquiry fell over the assembly. Tommy had been chosen to make the nominating speech! Yes, chosen because she was the most enthusiastic delegate from New York! Slowly she made her way to the platform and took up her position beside the little table with the water pitcher and glasses.
"Madam Chairman --" she began [Protests of "Oh, oh!" all over the house interrupted, and showed that her first word was a break.] -- "I-- I really beg the pardon of our honorable chairman," said Tommy, blushing. "Mr. Chairman" ["That's better! That's better!"] "and fellow citizens of the United States -- I have to-night to perform a duty with which my fellow delegates of the State of New York have honored me: that of naming for President of our great and glorious country, a man who stands at the summit of our love and respect," [Cries of "Hear! Hear!"] " at the summit of power, who holds the rod of Justice over all offenders," ["Big Stick! Big Stick!" "Hurrah for the Big Stick!"] "who will crush his enemies and the enemies of his country to the dust!" ["Yea, let them bite the dust!"] "It is no inexperienced pilot I would ask you to let steer our venerable Craft, but a man who has roughed it in all conditions of life. We first hear of this man wielding the sword of Justice in the metropolis of this great country -- reorganizing the police force of New York City, curbing the serpent and casting out the devil." ["O-oh! O-oh!" from the galleries. "Hurrah! Give it to them plain!" from Carrie Nation.] "This man, if he had not been called to a higher duty, would have purified our great city from cellar to garret and transformed it into a blooming paradise." ["Pair o' dice! Pair o' dice!" cried Carrie Nation, wielding her red ax. "Who charges such miserable thing to the President in my presence?" With difficulty she was quieted by her neighbors and Mr. Swallow, who was using his best entreaties and a palm-leaf fan.]
"But," continued the orator, drinking some water he had poured out for himself, "he was called to another duty. They made him Assistant Secretary of the Navy, that this great land might profit by his works!
"He was guiding the Nation with his skillful hand, when suddenly the bloody cloud of war appeared on the horizon, and rose and spread and covered this dear land with ruddy dew. The Spanish tyrant was persecuting and brutalizing the blessed Island of Cuba, carrying death and terror wherever he went, and wiping his dripping sword on his sleeve." ["How unhygienic!" remarked a member of the Consumers' League on the running track.] "Ay, and more -- when we went to the aid of the little land calling for us, the Spaniard turned his weapons on US, dynamited our faithful ship and sent five hundred heroes to the bottom! Remember the Maine!" ["Down with Spain! Down with Spain!" shouted the keyed-up crowd.]
"Well for Spain she is not here," observed the orator, taking another drink. He had hardly put the glass to his lips, when Carrie Nation clutched his sleeve.
"What is that you are drinking, sir'" she asked, suspecting from the frequency of the orator's visits to the pitcher that all was not as it should be.
"Madam," said the orator indignantly, "madam, I would not have you casting suspicious reflections upon me."
"Sir, you do not commit yourself as to what is this liquid you are drinking."
"I insist --"
"I will --"
"It is water from Lithia Spring, pure and simple," cried the orator quickly, seeming embarrassed.
"But I am not so simple. I will investigate that for myself," insisted the intrepid Carrie, making a raid on the water pitcher.
She peered into it and smelt its contents, and, still unsatisfied, tried to taste it. At this juncture all the "men" on the platform interfered, protesting she would not leave a drop for them; and amid roars of laughter, Carrie Nation was overwhelmed and hurried back to her seat by the mortified Mr. Swallow, before she could smash the water pitcher.
"As I was saying when interrupted by that good lady who honors us with her presence to-night," continued the orator, running his hand over his brow uncertainly, "as I was saying,the -- the Spaniards dynamited us and sent us to the bottom." [Roars of laughter.] "Ay, and then the great candidate showed the matchless steadiness of his hand; for when war was declared, he was a telling part of the Department of the Navy that was to guide our battleships in every engagement. You read about it in your histories -- how the foe was vanquished and followed to defeat -- I -- I mean -- driven to defeat. You have heard praised the man behind the gun. But let me tell you, once and for all, Roosevelt was the man behind the man behind the gun!"
The shouts of applause that followed the mentioning of the candidate's name were deafening. Minute after minute they continued, and the reporters, with great ostentation, took out their watches to see how long it would last. But the officers of the meeting knew that there was still much business to be done and rose to the occasion; in a little while the noise was quieted down again and the orator allowed to proceed.
"I hardly need tell you of his glory in war, and how he organized and headed his Rough Riders into battle. Suffice it to say, that thanks to his glorious prowess in arms, victory visited the flowing folds of our beauteous banner." [Loud applause.] "Then this great State of New York called upon him to be her Governor!" ["Hurrah! Hurrah!"] "And he followed the call; for he is a man who ever puts duty before pleasure. 'Let me die on the deck!' he said; 'not in coal bunkers!'" ["Hurray! Hurray!" laughed the delighted crowd. "Just the man for us!"] "He has led us through war and peace. For three years now, as President of these United States, through the deplored misfortune to the hallowed dead, he has been the guiding star of the Ship of State. He has fought bosses and trusts as he fought the Spaniard. He has made Truth and Justice to reign throughout the land, and at the point of the sword he has made the Beef Trust swallow its own product." [Laughter and loud applause. Shouts of "Good! Good!"]
"Shall this ship continue to sail on untroubled waters? Shall this nation, enfolded by our glorious banner, continue in the paths of Justice and Truth? Shall we be a nation of peace or of the sword? If peace, then let us put at its head a man who has known and abhorred the horrors of war; if justice, let us put forward the man who fights what is unjust. Let me grasp my glorious opportunity and name at this convention for President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, the hero of San Juan Hill and Sagamore Hill!"
The applause was not to be subdued, for it was as much in honor of the little Freshman as of the great hero. She had won their hearts, for this speech would never be forgotten by any of her hearers.
But through all the noise rose a delegate from Massachusetts to second the nomination. With a speech similar to Tommy's, she sang the praises of the Rough Rider President, who smiled acknowledgment from the platform. Bouquets were cast at his feet in the form of flowers of speech, and never was man more highly glorified.
The Chairman of the Convention ardse to close the nominations.
"Are there any more names to be brought forward?" she asked. There were intended to be no others. "Then we will close --"
"No, no, no," came shrill protests from behind him, and the three suffragettes came forward. "We wish to name a candidate -- a good Republican who has promised to let us vote. We want votes for women ! We want --"
"Hush! Hush!" cried the chairman and the celebrities, and the galleries were hissing and applauding alternately at the ladies, now reinforced by Carrie Nation and her hatchet.
"We will invade every legislature and convention until suffrage is granted us, until the Magna Charta of Women's Rights is signed. We will --"
But the sergeant-at-arms was upon them with officers of the police, and the disturbing elements were taken off the platform and ousted at the front door, where they soothed their feelings with cakes and ice cream cones they bought from the Juniors.
With great enthusiasm Theodore Roosevelt was elected the Republican nominee for President, and he bore the honor graciously. But he could not officially say a word; in fact, he should not even have been there, for on the following Tuesday he was to be officially notified of his nomination at a great banquet.
The nomination of Vice President was called for, and a delegate from Ohio was beginning his address, when one of the celebrities on the platform, becoming thirsty, drew a suspicious-looking bottle from under his coat. Carrie Nation was on the scene in a moment.
"Publicans and Sinners, I -- smell -- rum!" she said in a sepulchral voice. "Gentlemen, I see rum!" she cried shrilly, making a descent upon the obnoxious bottle.
She snatched it from the hands of the intemperate "man," and, with a stroke of her red hatchet, demolished the thing. Woe and alack! The bottle with which the creature had sought to plague Mrs. Nation, was a bottle of strong household ammonia he had found in one of the dressing rooms behind the stage. The pungent fumes of it now arose and pervaded the place. The incident brought down the house with laughter, at the expense of the officials. The clerk, at whose feet it fell, immediately deserted his post, the delegate speaking tried to go on with his speech, and the celebrities on the platform tried to keep their dignity and composure. But the ammonia was too much for them. With tears in their eyes from laughter and ammonia fumes, they adjourned to the floor of the house, to the amusement of the spectators -- Carrie Nation leading! Every door and window in the place was ordered thrown open.
From the body of the auditorium the rest of the programme was gone through. Fairbanks, to the infinite pride of his wife, was chosen vice-presidentiai nominee, and with cheers and songs the meeting closed. Carrie Nation strove to address the assembly from a green gymnasium stool, but it was getting late and, besides, the ammonia had not yet all evaporated; so she was left alone with the strong liquid, supported only by the three suffragettes, who vowed they would hold a convention by themselves, now the "men" were gone.