South Hadley Jan. 29, 1850My dear Mother,
I fear you will be disappointed in not hearing from us before this reaches you. I am quite sorry, but it cannot be helped now, so I will do my best to make up for it. I arrived here safely about 2 o'clock Thursday afternoon. Susan was not expecting me for an hour, or so, so I took her quite by surprise. She seems to have enjoyed herself pretty well, during vacation, judging from all I see and hear.
Mrs. Condit & Helen are pretty well. She says Helen has quite an idea of coming to Newburyport, & going to the Putnam School. I suppose if I am at here next year, you would have no objection to boarding her.
Jennie brought me a note from Eliza Gerrish, when she came back. Eliza wants us to come & see her very much. She says she wishes one, if not both of us, would come next vacation. What do you think of it? She also wants father, if he ever comes that way, to call on her.
I had a very pleasant time at Mrs. Dudley's. Mr. Dudley got us a cab in the morning, paid our fare, & sent us off .. that is down to the depot. We did not go thru any of them with us: Hannah Gilman said she believed she got her carraige-fare [sic] paid every where she went.
How do Mr. Cambell's & Dr. Cross' families do now? Did any of the New-York people come on to the funeral? I wish you would ask Mag. [?] Mrs. Pettengill's address, as I want to send he[r] Dr. Hitchcock's "Chapter of Providence." Sarah Jane Anderson is here, making us a visit now. She looks as natural as ever, only a little paler, & a little sadder. She says her father cannot bear to have her out of his sight now. She says Eliza's death was a great trial to him. She enquired all about Lizzie Stevens, so you can tell her if you see her. Did Lizzie go to the ball the other night?
How do all the girls do now? How I wish I had seen more of them when at home! Rebecca I did want to see, tell her she must write me soon, very soon. O Mother how I wish I was a more devoted, consistent Christian, if indeed I am one at all. I know I never shall be happy, untill [sic] I am willing to go forward & labor for Christ, but O there is such a shrinking from doing it. I know it is my natural disposition, but then I know too, that "His grace is sufficient for me." But there is such a reluctance, which I cannot as yet overcome, to speak to any one on the subject of religion, and this is the reason I have not written to you more freely. If I know my own heart, I do desire, above all things else, to be a humble, devoted, consistent, self-denying Christian. I do wish to be placed, where I shall feel I must labor. Sometimes I think I would have to be a missionary, if I were only qualified for it. It seems strange that Christians can sid [?] down so at ease, & see multitudes pressing down to ruin. Will you not pray that I may be an active laborer in the vineyard of Christ.
Mr. Laurie's health is very poor. He is in Chelsea now. Professor Smith of Amherst preached for us Sabbath-day. He is the same as ever.
Miss Whitman wanted me to write to Mrs. Plummer, but you can do the errand just as well, if you will as soon as possible, I shall be much obliged. It is to tell her, that Miss Whitman thinks it would be better for Harriet to remain at home another year as she does not intender to take any under 17, unless they have great maturity of character. Will you tell her, & write me what she says.
The more Sue sees of her dress the better she likes it. We thought it old though, when she first saw it. It sets pretty well, with the aid of a little more cotton. [?] She was quite disappointed because she hurt not a hand on it. [?]
Did not Mary Atkinson send her letter to our house at all? Write soon & let me know her things are going in at L[...].
Sue thinks she needs some medicine to strengthem her. Can't you ask Dr. Cross about it?
[Unsigned, but written by Mary Brown.]