College,
Thursday, 1917Dear Dr. Clapp, -
My, but the wind is blowing cold and here I am sitting next to the radiator in the Downstairs lib writing letters when I should be working. But I don't dare not write them for if I should put it off, then I'd not feel for writing for another spell.
I suppose Ann has told you that she and I had a long talk on Sunday about my future. I had decided that I shouldn't stay here any longer, and then came the question what shall I do next. I couldn't study for another year unless I could get a fellowship. I have my doubts about being able to, especially as Zoology has one this year, that is Mabel Hedge has, but I'm going to try to screw up my courage and get a blank to fill out. If I can study a year what should it be? I simply had to look at the money side of the question and I decided that the demands a college made upon its faculty in way of preparation and the returns they gave to them were not in very good proportion to each other, and if anything should happen to either my father or mother, I am the one who has to stand in back of them and one needs money to do that for there is very little at home. I am telling you all this because I want you to see why I am doing all this. You see I just have to think of the money side, there is no use in trying to escape it. I am not mercenary - money - if I had enough to live on would be all I'd ask if I hadn't a few responsibilities that I must be ready to face. And that is why I decided against continuing in lab. work. I do beleive [sic] that there are openings in Public Health work for women. The officers of the school have been speaking at the women's colleges around here urging them to go into that work. It has been in the back of my mind since fall, ever since I visited Agnes Daniels Pratt. If I can't get the money to study this summer & winter, I'll take any sort of a job to get enough money to do something the next year. I don't want to be a High School teacher any longer - that is what I thought I should always be. Since I have been here, I don't want to do that any longer, and I don't want to go away from Zoology. That is why I picked out a Public Health - as the most specialized "out-in-the-world" "good paying" job that I could make for and still keep on in a certain way with Zoology.
I do feel badly that I am not holding on to the ropes but I don't see that it is the wisest thing to do. I wish that you would write to me and tell me what you think about all this.
I am getting your pictures for you, of Ann and yourself, and will send them next week.
Lots of love to you - I am so glad that I have had the chance to know you - and I do hope that you won't be fearfully disappointed in me.
Home,
Dec. 21, 1917.Dear Dr. Clapp, -
I left all of my good paper in So. Hadley Center but you won't mind this, will you, even if it is my Christmas letter to you way down in Florida.
I got home Wednesday night for I stayed over one day to do the circulatory system of the cat, after the people had all left and peace and quiet reigned in Williston.
I expect to have a conference with Dr. Sedgwick on my way back to college to find out just what I should take if it were possible for me to enter the school next year. Then I'm going to see Miss Purington and see what one does to apply for a fellowship. I have no idea that I shall be able to get one but I am going to try. Then I am going to ask her to look out for anything else that may come along in the line of a job. It is rather hard work for mother to get reconciled to the idea of not being an "out-and-out" teacher, but she says for me to do what ever I think best.
How are you liking Florida? You have missed some right cold weather up here, I nearly froze in Williston, with the pressure not up to what it has been. It seems queer to get back home here and be careful about sugar. It is so much more definite when it is in your own house for we really have not worried a great deal at college.
I am enclosing a picture taken last Founder's day. [no longer with the letter] I thought that you might like it. Please remember me to your sisters and keep a lot of love for yourself -
A happy Christmas and New Year to you,