A Letter Written on Dec 14, 1841

Sterling Dec. 14th 1841

My very dear Aunt,

I recollect one of your letters says that you had commenced writing to me nine times, before you finally succeeded in finishing a letter. This is not my tenth attempt at writing to you, but I have tried a number of times, and have not been able to finish my letter before it became so out of date that I must take a new sheet of paper.

Now I think I can almost see you look up with wonder, asking 'how it can be that Mary is so very busy'? And if you could see me, perhaps you would ask me to change places with you for a few days - so as to find time. I do not know what I should do with all your cares upon me, for I find myself so much taken up with the little I have to do.

I have no time which I can call my own but evenings, for I go to my school immediately after breakfast, and do not dismiss at night till nearly sunset. And then my poor head is often so tired and confused that writing seems next to impossible. But I will not write any more in this strain lest you think that your niece Mary Allen is not writing, or else that she is changed very much since she was at Boston. Aunt, I am not changed - I am ready not to weep when I think of the days, and weeks, and months, that I have spent with you - and think of them all as past. If any one had told me on that sad morning when I left Boston, that three years would pass before I should see you again, I could not have believed it. It must be now three years before I can go to Boston - but I hope that I shall be able to go next spring. I wished very much to go last fall. I presume Cousin S- told you how near I came to giving up my school, and returning with her, when she was here. If I could have left I should have gone - but I felt that I ought to stay at home. I feel now like throwing aside my pen, almost - it seems so impossible for me to write. O if I could see you, and hear you talk as I have heard you so many, many times, I should cry for joy. I should be so glad to see you, but now I must wait till next spring.

Father recieved [sic] a letter from Cousin Wm a few weeks ago, mentioninging his departure for the south as a teacher. I hope he will be successful - he said he would write after his arrival. I presume you hear from him often. Cousin Mary I suppose did not go with him. I want very much to see her - I have quite an idea how little Willie looks, but when I see him I shall be disappointed. Does he resemble William's portrait? -

Cousin S told you I suppose that sister Martha was expecting to go to South Hadley and become a member of the Seminary there. She went on the first of October. We hear from her often. She is much pleased with your her situation. She rises at four in the morning and assists in preparing the breakfast. Every one there is obliged to spend an hour each day in domestic avocations, and Martha's work is to prepare the breakfast. There area hundred and eighty young ladies in the seminary. They rise (except those who get the breakfast) at five and retire at half past nine. Martha writes that each hour has its appropriate duty - and if she loses any time it is very hard to regain it. I suppose when she comes home that Harriet and I shall have a great many things to learn.

I am ashamed to send you such a miserable letter as I see this will be - since I commenced we have had two callers, and one yet remains. Father has given a sketch of a sermon - and we have had an animated conversation kept up all the time. Just so it is whenever I commence writing. Some one will come in, and my pen must be laid down. To-night I begged to be excused and continued writing.

I cannot write to you as I would talk. If I could see you I hope you would tell me all your trials. I have thought of you a great deal - and I was there with you so long that I feel interested in every thing that befals [sic] you. I hope you will yet see happier days. I was pleased with Wm's letter to Father, and could but hope that he would yet become all that you wish him to be. I shall always feel that interest and affection for Wm that I feel for no other cousin.

Dear Aunt there is one subject which I cannot leave out of my letter. I often regret that while I was with you I gave you so little cause to think that religion was the most important of all subjects with me. I felt its importance then, and I think that it seems more and more important to me, each year of my life. I cannot say any thing new to you. I do desire to see you putting placing your affections where they will never be disappointed. If you would take Jesus Christ for your portion, the trials of the world would yet be trials, but you would have strength and support under them, which no worldly friend can afford. The sympathy of a friend is pleasant to you now, how pleasant would it be to have God for your friend - and think that when all the trials of this world are ended! God shall wipe away all tears from your eyes! My beloved Aunt - Will you not seek this Jesus - for your friend. Trust every thing to him. He will not turn you away if you will but come to him, and there is salvation in no other way.

I do not write this for the sake of troubling you, but I believe that there is no happiness here which is unalloyed, but that which is found in believing in Christ - and O how important that we are all prepared for the scenes of that world to which we are all hastening. I cannot bear the thought of seeing my dear Aunt on the left hand at the last day. Do believe in Christ now.

I did not know that Father thought of writing to Uncle until his letter was finished and sealed, or I should have asked him to leave room for me to write a part of the letter. Mother will finish this. Will you write to me dear Aunt. I know your time is very much occupied and I have been so remiss that I am ashamed to ask you, but if you can find time we shall be very glad to hear from you. We wish to hear from Wm. I should like to ahve Cousin Mary write to me if she will - I feel acquainted with her. Aunt are you ever coming here again? I wish you would come. Give me love to Uncle and cousin Mary, and kiss little Willie for me. and do not forget that you have a large place in the heart of your affectionate niece,

Mary Allen

[Handwriting change]

Dear Sister I see that I have but a small space to fill so I must be denied saying all I could wish. When we received Wms letter I thought you would certainly come and see us on your return from New York[.] His letter had been written two or three weeks when we received it. I can not think you would come so enar us and not come here and therefore think you did not accompany Wm[.] How is your health and your family? How glad we should all be to see you here and Brother with you[.] Why will you not come? We all want to see Mary and little Willie I fear he will outgrow his stockings before I have an opportunity to send them though I have knit the last pair larger than the others[.] Tell Brother he must write soon. We all feel anxious to know where William is. Dear Sister I do feel anxious that you and Brother should attend to the subject of religion now. When will you have a better opportunity? Do improve the present hour. Harriet joins with me in love to yourself Brother Mary and Willie from your ever affectionate Sister Mercy D Allen

Do write tell Mary I often think of her and hope she will come and see us

[Martha Dame Allen's parents were Jacob and Mercy Dame Allen of Sterling, Conn. Jacob was the pastor of the Congregational Church in Sterling. In Familysearch.org, I saw references to daughters Martha Dame Allen and Harriet White Allen, but I couldn't find Mary Allen, the author of this letter. Harriet White Dame, the recipient of this letter, was married to Abraham Annis Dame, the grand commander of the Knights Templar of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. I saw mention of their son William Augustus Dame, but no Mary. Abraham's sister was Mercy Allen, the second author of this letter.]