[Terrible handwriting ... many gaps where I can't figure out the text.]14 September 1921
Abby dear :-
It is ten oclock - and refrain from typing but I'm sorry to put such a tax on your eyes! - I do like the process of hand penning better but likewise I feel compunction over unnecessary strain for you!
Your letter was dear - & I do hope you have found someone to companion you in your apartment - and I'm glad for the present extents on your return journey & so awfully glad you had the visit with Esther Richards - Even without having seen that fire - I feel a certain stimulation & inspiration in thinking of her.
Probably Beryl wrote of the splendid report we heard of Esther at Johns Hopkins! - I had since letter from Beryl today - & she is so sweet over all this Dr. Hopkins [...] and I found such a new impression after this summer. I [...] long evening & to get over that broken sort of acquaintance to steady into the quieter observation & she talked more - revealing such tremendous development in many ways during the last three years I'm sure Miss Newell was splendid for her - & the necessity for arousing from the long line of least resistance - to make independent effort both in her work & in her personal life has done a lot for her -
Her attitude toward her present lonesomeness seems sturdier - she must be frightfully forlorn - yet from her letters I gotten that she is keeping quite sure & steady under it - and she wrote that you help a lot!
Ann Yates & her husband are here - in this apartment I've not seen them yet, but hope to before I sleep! - They come today but when I came up late this afternoon I had to rush to get them & back to Dr. Hopkins office - and she was lying down - and I did not get back until eight so they'd time for their being at a theatre -
And they leave tomorrow! - It will be good to see Anne. - Miss Powell says she is "well rounded out"! - That's what I'll be when I see you next! -
I'd better report Dr. Hopkins before I set my mind wander to the various items I'd like to tell you! -
I'll tell you what told me & you can make your own diagnosis - First the major malady! - He says my kidneys have been "damaged" - probably when I had scarlet fever in my childhood - at least it seems to have been of long standing & not active for some time - then maybe the physical strain & exhaustion of that Arctic spree two years brought it out again - or augmented it - He found albumen in the urine & corresponding high uric acid in the blood - not a lot but enough to keep very care watch over. Probably some of my nervous reactions have been due to this. The shortness of breath & in [...] or whatever heart disturbances point to kidney condition - next - lungs - no real worry evident or obvious as yet but he has not analyzed the sputum yet - & anticipates no indication of untoward condition in that - He does think the queer erratic temperature comes from that source - and the cough is poor! - Both are unnerving but with proper care not alarming[.] He wants to keep me under observation for several months. I'm to report once a month for examination - & if I note even the slightest increase or change in any of the symptoms which he - mind you - not I - has discerned & which he expects me to watch over - I'm to go to him at once! -
Oh - he really is so dear & gentle & harmonious & kindly! - He was very serious in telling me that it is absolutely necessary for me to become careful & take better care of me than I ever have - He intimated that he does not expect to cure in the condition but that with care - no one need feel anxious & neither need develope [sic] rapidly - most are with no emergency strain! - the treatment is to protect both lungs & kidneys from strain!
He gave me a prescription - just dilute phosphoric acid, to take before meals - to stir up appetite & increase flow of digestive secretions - and all the rest of his change is to eat! I must gain in weight immediately - not in ounces but by pounds. I must eat all the [...] I can take without upsetting my stomach - in any form so long as I stow away fuel quick! -
I'm to augment all my meals - cereal "in anything with lots of sugar & milk around it" To my usual breakfast - cereal on "any pudding that has sugar & milk in abundance" to my lunch - Dinner - no soup, no added salt - meat once a day - "probably more than you have been eating" - & all the rest of the meal - (no gravy or meat extract in any form ever!) - then - every other [...] at four or so - unsalted milk [...] with one or two eggs in it - every night before I go to bed - at least a pint of milk with sugar & crackers or cereal on any thing to make you eat it! - "all long whenever you think of it eat sweet chocolate - lots of sweet chocolate!" - In other words I'm supposed to increase the three regular meals & continue at least a quart of milk & one or two eggs in addition! -
You see I'm much more like to die of obesity that [...] or T.B.! - Incidentally it will take [...] money to provide food! I hope this is only temporary - just to get me started! He certainly can't expect me to go on forever with such an atrocious dietary! But he was so earnest - I feel urged to doing best! - Please you can tell me what all this means to you - I do have tremendous faith in your judgment! -
I am sure I'll feel better in the psychological ways now that I can believe maybe my nervous irritabilities & tensions & reactions have not been entirely pure cussedness of disposition - that my losing of words & temporary blanks in straight thinking are not all from the neurotic sources. Maybe there is not enough pathological evidence to justify my transference of all responsibility but I think some must be is it due fully with such physiological conditions more truly in some [...] than with the neurotic ones -
The mental observations have not been hysterical & I've not felt the peculiar compulsions usually along with those - I've known that I am irritable & the [...] of one has not checked the feeling of tautness & rawness!
I suppose each has [...] to shin up the other so I've had both to some degree - But now with relief from feeling that I'm just a weak emotionalist - [...] to the psychological strains & see what happens when that is curled! -
And I want [...] for a little while! - But please tell me honestly if you think I'm wrong & give too much self excuse on the pathological ground! -
Dr. Hopkins [...] bemused when I said I was coming off for two weeks & said that will do more to help than anything else - to remember to eat - & not to do any work at all - not to try to do any rashness at all - to be extremely careful about any real exertion or strain - but to have reasonable exercise - walk all I want & just have a happy [...] time - & to eat always to eat! -
He showed no concern at all over my smoking. & I think I over- rather understated the amount I smoke - because of all the accusations I wanted to be sure I was playing fair & he said no one could call that excessive - and after some of the tales [...] Elwyn told him sure I'm a wild indulger - He also - him - Elwyn - said he really could not criticize my sleeping hours or [...] - if I did not allow too many exceptions!
It was such a delightful evening I had with Miss Newell & him - Have you met him? He is delightful & he & Dr. Hopkins have many qualities alike or similar - It was dear of Miss Newell to [...] me to have dinner with them & to have it before Charlotte came back! - not that I object to her presence but she is rather a [...] on first [...] - & while she is much more normal about my doing such things without her, she would have felt hurt had [she] been here & not been included in the invitation & knowing Beryl must have talked some to Miss Newell about us - so have been selfconscious & inhibited to any [...] degree! - I'm always so diffident it does not take much extra pressure to make it [...] a torture instead of the pleasure it should be, & would be if I had no extreme pressure!
But I really do think the truly happy relation is [...] about it will stabilize with time -
Miss Newell has been having an interesting time with polio-work - not over doing & she is tired & nervously strained - But she was awfully nice & she & Mr. Elwyn are [...] together - I hope you will see them sometime & [...] you will like both - especially "Adolf"! -
Yesterday I had a pleasant lunch at the Crampanie [?] with folk I really like - Miss [...] & Miss [...]. Today I had a nice lone lunch at the Ristorant Francais which I do like - There's an intriguing waitress with red hair who tends to me so solicitously & coaxes me to eat - Today she came over & said "That girl over there asked me to find out if you are a [...]! I told her I never asked my customers what their [...] is! My job is to serve them, not to be impertinent! What do you think of that for an answer? Wasn't she rude & awful? [...]?" -
I can see [...]another queer [...]ment most vividly - with all the increased activity of [...] & [...] & [...] in the years since I left [...] - He's a sad creature! -
But I must end - Charlotte returns tomorrow some time along the afternoon or early evening - & will be glad to see her - And I'm glad I'll have the two weeks of glory days in the country before the [...] settling down to life [...] again - and I do have so much more confidence to think it will help us both a lot! -
I do love you - Dear - & I'll write from Farview - oh I'm so awfully [...]ed over missing you [...] in New York - Please you will come down again soon -
Has Beryl told you where Miss Newell is? She does admire you as much & I know she'd love to see you if you could arrange it.
During the day you can telephone Plaza 6 777 - which is at 116 East 63rd St. I'm sure you'd [...] her! And I did hope [...] to go to a meeting or two of [...] - Please - I'd so like to hear about them! And end -
Eva
Wednesday night
I've seen Anne but not "David" - and she does look so well - discounting the tired news from the trip down from the woods -
I hope to visit Mr. Rapport in the morning - He's to be in New York this winter. So I will doubtless see him -
And Anne wants so awfully to see you next week when you are here [...] come over if she could plan it - She goes to [...] tomorrow so if you would write to her there soon - as to your plans - where you'll stay here in New York etc - she might connect with you somehow! - and now I'll go to bed. It's been mighty nice seeing Anne! -
Eva