Dartmouth Wednesday - Nov. 17, 1954
Dear Pat -
Very sorry that prodding was necessary to emanate correspondence. However, the last ten days have been rather trying.
Two Sundays ago, I set out for York. I was sick of the whole college routine, and sicker of the Dartmouth atmosphere. Therefore, I decided to go home and inform the old man that I definitely would not spend another semester in Dartmouth.
The parents were suprised [sic] with the sudden advent of my beaming countenance, but were very understanding - much more than could be expected. After talking the entire situation over, we decided that at the semester [end] I would either transfer to another school or apply for the draft, which the parents are not in favor of, but will consent to it if I wish.
I returned to the quad last Thursday night, and found that four of my five professors had reported me to the Dean for poor attendence [sic] (I have cut precisely 50 classes so far). I spent a lengthy and rather heated session with Dean on Friday. He informed me that he considered my attitude lackadaisical, et al - the old sermon which had become so prevalent in Bill Penn. I retorted quite frankly that I didn't like the Dartmouth attitude towards knowledge (which is anti-), and that I didn't feel I was deriving anything from the college. However, I wanted to finish the semester with a clean slate and get my money's worth. The Dean said that I could remain on two conditions: (1) One more cut and I am thrown out, (2) I go see the student counselor. No more cuts the remainder of the semester should prove interesting, if not impossible. But I wasn't afforded much choice.
Thus ends my tale for the week. I'd like to go to Columbia for English (the best in America) and New York City. Time will tell.
So sorry you took that remark in passing so seriously. You should know by now that I have evolved into too great a degree of egotism to be affected by your obvious intellectual edge.
Also considerably saddened by your sermon concerning my attitude, alcoholic capacity, etc. You are undoubtedly correct, but - and none of this is meant to be taken as acidic retaliation - you've got to realize I don't give a good goddamn about what society deems good and proper.
That's how it's always been, and no amounts of sermons will change this feeling. However, don't think these sermons are sneered at or viewed antagonistically. It's always a good feeling to find someone is worried about your welfare. Nevertheless, I must continue to follow my bigoted path. I will probably be the world's greatest success or it's [sic] greatest failure. But, what the hell, it'll be sensational.
Let me apologize for a letter in such a heavy vein, but it's been a rough week. Don't suppose I need express hopes that Mt. Holyoke is treating you right, for I know it is. Tell Miss Richardson I hope she enjoyed her stay in Hanover - also the ride back to Holyoke.
Love,
RodPS. : I'll be a good boy about correspondence from [now] on.