Thursday
Dear Pat,
I don't know. I really don't. You remember when I said that we were more deeply involved than you realized? Well, now you know. It's the wierdest [sic] situation I ever heard of, and God knows it can't continue like this too much longer. It just ain't fittin' for the monsters, it just ain't. Just exactly what did she say about the Watts's? I was over for a while Monday night, and she told me how Flossie was taking private lessons from A.I. for $10 an hour, and how Toby and Joe, Gerry, Mike, Meg and Lucy are going to be taking lessons too. She also said she tried to persuade Flossie to give them some of her old furniture, and was going to stop in at the Art Center as soon as she got her check cashed to make a contribution to the fund. Then she said, in her own witchian way, "Now don't you think he oughta be sitting at home thinking how wonderful life is - " and something to the effect
thatof how wonderful she was. I scraped paint for a while in Mase's sweat shirt and denim pants. Bobble was there, too. She was being tremendously nice as only she can be when she feels like it, but through it all runs the same refrain - Mase and me. hard, Pat, what's she trying to prove? I can't fathom it. It upsets me immensely. It puts him in a hell of a position too, no matter what he feels. As for complaints, there aren't many. Just things that slip out when we're talking, like "I hate that whip across my back," or "Dottie and I don't get along very well," and he doesn't want a German shepherd, and he doesn't want a station wagon, and he poaches his own eggs in the morning, and Cole and she go[es] out while he stays home with the kids - (these last things are what I have noticed without his saying anything or even intimating) This I know, and others I feel.My "spring vacation," as Barnard fondly calls it, starts as soon as my exams are over and lasts until Feb. 3rd. Then we have a week at Easter, so my time home and yours won't coincide I fear me. But I am not coming up to visit you after exams. I'm going home and I'm going to find out if it kills me. When you're home you can dig too. I agree, the best thing to do would be to get out of the picture entirely - not come home at all till May, possibly - but I haven't got the strength of will. I don't want any of them to get hurt - my 3 boys or the poor confused witch.
Why is she so good to us? It would be easier if she weren't, so much easier if we didn't like her so much.
Has she said anything else to you that might be a clue, something I haven't heard? I'm worried too, Pat. I'm feeling greatly on the manic side of depressive.
So you sent the boys medals, did you? Well, in the station at Lancaster I just happened to well, you know. Oh well, maybe they'll each lose one. It's always nice to have a spare.
It's lovely to see all the gals here again, like coming home, in a way. We do have such fun. It has been mad, as you might imagine, typing papers, finishing homework I should have done at home, but now there's a (damn that pen!) hell. I've just got to get some sleep. I need to recuperate from our strenuous vacation.
I put the boys to bed before I left. I do love them dearly, as I know you do. Joe asked me to add Posse, Dogs and Indians to the list of what he wants to take in college. Mase says he wants to go to an inexpensive college. Like Mama, like son - always looking for a bargain.
By the way, I've never seen Witch look quite so sloppy as she did this time. That damn' apron! And she's so knockout when she feels like it!
My Pooh frame didn't get made before I left. I have Pooh and Mase is going to send me the frame as soon as he makes it.
Now you please write. Fast! Tell me everything you can.
Love,
Jane