[Some paragraph marks added for ease of reading.]Hatfield Sunday evening Nov 7th 1841
My dear Mary Ester,
Thank you heartily for your pleasant letter just received at Miss Fannys hands, it seemed so like your own self talking with me, that my heart was made very glad. I am quite sure that you must have felt happy when you found that letter or the perusal could not have put so much gladness into my spirit. I was surprised at this for from the accounts I have had, I imagined you a sad creature, walking about with head down, tearful eyes, and heaving bosom crying "There is no place like home, sweet, sweet home". I am very glad to be undeceived for, in spite of what you say about my not being able to sympathise [sic] with you becase [sic] I am not away from home, I think the memory of "past hours" of suffering from "homeache" would enable me to do so sincerely. Dont judge from this that I would not be most happy to give you my poor sympathy, that would be quite wrong, but it would be better not to stand in need of it. However I have not many fears for my friend Mary on this ground. I think clouds don't generally long overshadow your spirit. I dont think "you trouble long about a thing" May it ever be thus - still, because I love you I could not pray that you might never have an alloy of pain and sorrow, oh no! methinks were it thus we should be miserable creasures some time, would'nt [sic] we grow too posh under all sunshine? how would the day seem to us if it was always day? Dont you love to think of the storm in tempest and thunder with the bright skies behind. I fear you wont be interested or edified in this would be moralising [sic] strain and, craving your pardon for the past, and kind forbearance for the future I proceed on my way -
You ask for news of Hatfield. I am sorry to be obliged to say to you that I cant accomodate [sic] you with the said article, indeed we are so very dry at present that I cant even think of a solitary item -
Lavinia is no better, it has seemed to us for the last that she was failing. to day she is more comfortable and we cant but hope that it will continue till better symptoms appear,
butour "times are not in our hands", but in that God "who sees the end from the begining" [sic], and who "will not put upon man more than he is able to bear." We have his promise that he will not "break the braised reed", but will "temper the wind to the shorn lamb". May we all love and trust him - Poor dear girl! you know something how she suffers, how long it must last we cant tell, the thought of more months of pain, and anguish like what she has past makes me very very sad sometimes, this is wrong I know. She is uniformly peaceful and cheerful expressing the most perfect confidence in "the hand that bruises and is able to heal".Mary you did not tell me any thing about your situation, and my imagination is not strong enough to picture it. Do you perceive you have not given me the pleasure of thinking of you as you are, but I can of what you will be (situation in another and hiyer [sic] sense) under Miss Lyon's purifying influence. Will it be all that is amiable and desirable? It is natural I believe for us to want the best of every thing, and as you have the best, influences and all, therefore you will be by then, made the best. - Do you dispute my logic? You'll be a naughty one if you do and of course inear [?] my just displeasure how could you do it?
Mary you dont know what you have lost in the line of good preaching Mr Neill has given us some splendid glorious sermons, the like of which I never heard. It does seem for a few weeks as if a strange beautiful inspiration had come over his always enthusiastic, lofty soaring spirit - As I sad to day listening almost breathless every nerve thrilled while he told us of the strange, glorious destination of the immortal past, I wept as throught [sic] obtruded itself on my mind that such a soul in a frail, delicate teniment [sic] like his must [...] wear it out - it is too large for it -
I would love to tell you about a sermon we had last sabbath, the elements that make a man, a christian, but it would be but a faint idea, better none - every one that I have heard speak of it say it was his very best - perhaps you will read it when you come home. For your sake and my own I am glad that time is so near. How are Miss Bass and Abbey - please tender to them my love and kindest wishes -
Have you written Mr Gorham? I did so the night I came from your house - have not heard from him again -
When will you write me again? let it be as soon a[s] convenient and as long a communication as your little spare [...] I shall ever love to hear from you -
Your affection[ate]
LydiaJames Wait came in while I was writing - I gave him as polite an invitation as I am capable of to send by me his love to you[.] He did not seem inclined to accept -
All send love.