Mt. Holyoke F. Sem. S. Hadley Dec. 1st [guessing it is 1846 because that is the year (1846-1847) Al was listed as a student in the Mount Holyoke catalog]Cousin Lucien
Now I wonder if it will do for me to commence this sheet by "speechifying" on the pleasures of receiving letters especially, receiving letters from stray cousins. - Well, I cannot make up my mind whether it will be well or not, so you may imagine me laughing right joyously, on the perusal of yours. - I forgot all of your Herculean labors, never sent one sympathising thought after your troubles, till I had feasted my own selfishness, with the part concerning my finding my "cake all dough;" - Just twist that sentence every way that you can think, and almost the worst way will describe my feelings to day, and pardon all deranged ideas &c, &c. by remembering this. - I was entirely delighted to hear that you was [sic] in better spirits, for I had heard of your being homesick. - By the way, your Father read me your letters, and I did not wonder that you had the blues and horrors. - Aunt Charlotte spoke about one passage in yours home. - "some night when the midnight oil is spent, I too shall be spent." - she said she couldnot [sic] keep back the tears when she thought of it. - I had a nice visit home Thanksgiving, a very nice visit with your folks, - especially Jeanie. - (Now do laugh, and unscrew your mouth) - Took tea with Martha H. and Jeanie at Bartholomew Place, on Saturday, - Jeanie has been half-sick with a cold and horrid cough - began to be frightened, thinking of consumption. - She says she hasnt [sic] been anywhere for many a day - Went to temperance meeting one evening she said and Al. Clark came along all the old women looking for her found her, and they marched home, Mr C. thought she must be lonely, now that Wilcox fellow was gone, - and observed that "folks said they (LWilcox & Jeanie) were pretty thick" - Jeanie informed him, that it didnt [sic] trouble her - for if it was so, she should not care, what folks said, and if it was not so, she certainly wouldnt care moreover asked if it would be against her character any how? - Mr C. replied, that, she did not know but it would - Jeanie, put her handkerchief into her mouth, and when she got home laughed an hour, - and was sorry that she did not ask Mr C. if he wasnt [sic] jealous. - Ain't that a long yarn? -
Saw Joanna. - her face is as long as - yours must have been about seven weeks ago. - Dear me! Why will she worry herself miserable! - Dont [sic] you think there is philosophy in being happy? Sometimes I think I'm the happiest creature breathing, but I expect its when I'm "up in the clouds" - and forget how much sin and sorrow, I'm the cause of. - No! no! no! - Not happiest then but when sorrow and temptations come, to look forward to a life in a "better country," - knowing that the King Immanuel will give pardon for sin here - and strength - in that day when strength is needed. What a pleasant pleasant thought. He will be a friend who will never fail, never forsake, if we trust in his blood, that was shed for us, because he loved us so well. - I wonder if it is wrong, - sacrilege to indulge thought like this, concerning a Being so infinitely pure and high and holy. - At times I think it is, and again, I am so very happy, that I forget how very sinful I am. - I know Lucien that you would not dare think in this way of these things, but for me, sometimes they are almost the only pleasant thoughts I have - May I not think that if you ever felt like this, it was when alone, and in a flood of troubles, when the mind was desponding, and thought of pleasant scenes away, came almost like mockery to Memory when you felt that the heart was bound too strongly to Earth, then in the darkness of Present thoughts, you turned with a strange love to One whose chastenings are for good. - But didst ever think that He too had forsaken you? - and in the despair of that thought sinned more? -
Dont think I'm wild. - I took my pen with a determination to write the happiest letter in this world. You may know what I'm worrying about when I tell you that Mother has told Miss H.- every-thing that she can think, about me - &c. &c. &c. - I have not thought of these things for eight weeks before. - have been so busy to day that I succeeded quite well in driving them away, but here they are now to torment me. - I hardly desire to go home again - Perchance my home is the world. - Then comes Hope again. Do you ever look to the bright flowers of Earth and hope to gather them in, - Perchance now you are sowing the seed fruits of Wisdom, - Success to thee Coz. -
Tuesday Eve
I am sorry to say I have heard nothing about your Sophia, particularly sorry on your chum's account, as it must be quite gratifying to you, to please him. - Misses Yale, seemed much pleased with the compliments of "Old Yale's son," - They said I might tell him they were well and pleasantly situated, enjoying themselves much here &c. - I did not see Ellen, at home. - told the girls that you must be remembered to them. - Martha said, you didnt [sic] mean her, and Jane said she considered herself a lady - not one of the girls - Joanna put a particular twist, on his countenance - you can imagine it -
- I declare! I had almost forgot to say, Carleton had a party in his new house last Friday Eve - Several of the folks were in to our house Thurs. Eve. - Had a fine time both evenings - You knew that Joanna was teaching "our school" - Helen Jewett has gone to Rockville with [...] teaching -
Martha Lee is at home, though I did not see her - I received a letter from Miss Sarah Loomis yesterday, - saying that Steele, - Joel Steele was to teach in Bloomfield this winter.
I was much obliged to you for putting it into Cleveland's head, to write his nonsense to me. - I mean - Thank you for putting it out of his head - I'm particularly desirous of continuing the correspondence it must be delightful for me feeling as dolefully as I do now a days - I suppose you'll say Al wont pay very good attention to her studies with her head so full of nothings - Well I study some to keep my conscience still. - and the next letter I undertake to write will not be till I can write well. - would you? I would not send you this if I thought I had ideas enough in my head to write better - will you excuse me they always excuse us when we are sick here. Well you must be good, and study not overmuch, think just enough about the g-hirls - and us more if you can help it. - There are some pretty ones here - when you come up to Mt. Holyoke - I'll show you some but they cant [sic] beat the girls at home - Saw Seymour Dibble at home. - said he started to come to S. Hadley - and turned around & went back again. Wasnt [sic] that agreable? [sic]
[A note inside the envelope flap]
I've broke this open to sign my name for I verily believe you wont [sic] discover who this is from - but know thou, Im [sic] your coz. Al-
[Researching Lucien Wilcox's family tree, I was able to determine that the letter writer 'Al' was his first cousin Alice Hayes. Lucien and Alice's grandparents were Sterling Wilcox (1774-1823) and Sophia Denslow (1780-?). Sterling and Sophia's first son, Justus Denslow Wilcox (1800-1871), married Emeline Hayes (1805-1881) and Lucien Sumner Wilcox (1826-1881) was their first born. (Lucien had a younger brother Cleveland Justus Wilcox (1836-?), probably the Cleveland mentioned in this letter.) Sterling and Sophia's first daughter, Sophia Wilcox (1809-1858), married Thaddeus Flavel Hayes (1802-1882) and Alice Hayes (1827-1877) was their youngest child. Interestingly enough, each of Sterling and Sophia's children had spouses with the last name of Hayes, but I was unable to determine if each of the Hayes spouses were siblings to each other. That would be quite a feat: four Wilcox siblings marrying four Hayes siblings!]