Hadley, Aug. 30, '44.
Dear Cara,
Fairly settled in my mountain home, I am happy to fulfil my promise, to devote one of my first leisure hours to you.
Perhaps you would like, first, to hear of Abby's situation and feelings in a place so new. I came here on the 19th of this month, commenced school on the 21st. My schoolroom is the parlor of a private house, and is well filled by 25 young ladies and misses, from the ages of 10 to 20, of various atainments and capacities. I find a great abundance of employment, I can assure you. You will imagine that, having been so long a pupil, to find myself suddenly in the office of teacher, caused me a little embarrasment at first, but now, after the lapse of more than a week, I begin to feel rather more confidence. Hawley is a quiet little place. I board in an excellent family, where I have an opportunity to be much alone, and there is nothing, out of my own heart, to render my situation otherwise than pleasant: yet, when I think of the responsibility I have taken upon myself, I almost shrink from my task, and am ready to resolve never so to involve myself again. To guide minds in the acquisition of earthly science, is much, but to feel that every little word and action will tell on so many characters forever, is far more. O Cara, how shall I be faithful. I need your prayers. Shall I not sometimes be remembered by you?
As so short a time has passed since we met, I do not think of any intelligence, which will be particularly interesting to you. And what shall be the subject of any letter & what, the character of our correspondence generally? Shall we fill our sheets with words which, in our serious hours will afford us no pleasure, which will profit us nought, when the vanities of time shall have passed away? Or shall we improve the opportunity, which our Father gives us of communicating with each other, while passing through this 'vale of tears', in aiding each other in the cultivation of our minds and hearts? I feel confident that the latter will be the choice of us both. -
I have been interested of late in reading the memoirs of several missionaries, among which were those of Harriet Newell, Mrs. Judson, & Mrs. Winslow. I have often perused them before, but always do it with increasing interest, particularly the first. Have you read it of late? I sometimes think that the romance attending her life is one of its attractions to me; yet I do sincerely admire her character. There is so much willingness to give up all earthly comforts for the advancement of Christ's kingdom, and to endure trials, of which I am persuaded, one but a missionary can form any conception. And she had numbered just as many summers as we have, Cara, when from the lonely Isle of France, she entered the 'haven of eternal rest.' Have we that devotion of soul to our God, that would sustain us under such sacrifices as she endured & was called to make? For myself, I can only say, no. - I do not think we remember, as we ought the distant, care & toil-worn missionaries. - I always think most of them, or at least, with the most sympathy, (as it would be natural for any one to do), when I am called to leave my home and friends, which I never do without many a pang. And if we feel so much at leaving those we love, for a few months, what must be their feelings, who leave homes and kidred no less dear, for life. Yet we know that this is not their greatest trial. - I shall think of you two weeks hence at the meeting of the Am. Board, not without longings to be there. I hope to receive full accounts of it.
I was happy to hear of your determination to spend the coming year at our loved Holyoke. May you be attended by a blessing from on high. - Suppose Charlotte is preparing to go. -
I know not whether you have yet returned from your visit to N. Hampshire, but thought it not best to delay writing longer.
I received your note by Mr. Hervey, and also my shawl, in due time. I often think of our pleasant excursion to the whortleberry [pasture] and always with mortification for a little circumstance, [which] needs an explanation. In the morning, when you called at our door, I invited Mr. Knight to call with the company. I suppose he either did not hear, in the confusion or the moment, or I was unintentionally deficient in politeness. I hope it will be excused.
I do not know as I can claim a letter from you before you go to S. Hadley, as I know you will have many things to occupy your time, but shall hope to recieve [sic] one soon as convenient.
With much love,
Yrs. affectionately,
Abby W. Allen.