217 Lake View Avenue
Jamestown, New York.
Wednesday, May 9, 1894.My Dear Nell;-
There's little to say, but to keep my promise I will write a bit to my - which is it widow or widower? Oh, dear! even that weakly [sic] attempt at a witticism brings all the College life so vividly before that in spite of myself I begin to grow "teary 'round the lashes." Oh, Ne.., being brave and serene and cheerful and optimistic isn't always the easiest thing in the world!
I had a very uneventful journey. As you know from Elizabeth I left Smith's Ferry at the expected time. I assiduously read The Gladiators all the two hours I had to wait at Greenfield. The express was not at all full and I had no difficulty in getting a lower berth. All the train-men were paragons such as I supposed existed only in stories. I rested well but the morning seemed interminable; almost every one left at Hornellsville, there was no one to watch; the swaying of the train never lets me read, so there was nothing to do but to start out the window and keep my thoughts traveling either backwards or forwards. So all in all it was rather dismal. The Pullman conductor stopped once and looked rather sharply at me, then said in a fatherly way - "I guess you're getting pretty tired, but Jamestown is only an hour away now."
Mamma met me. She is very tired. Papa won't have any one else (Syd only excepted) do a thing for him and as he isn't able to do a thing without assistance you can imagine how hard it is on Mamma. Auntie came Monday; of course she is a great help and comfort to Mamma. All three of us have [sic] busy all day long to-day, how that wonderful mother of mine has been able to stagger along under all this load all the Spring passes my comprehension.
I am glad there is so much to do; then besides Mama wants me to do as much with all my studies as possible - for I have my hands full to keep myself under control. The Doctors say Papa can not by any possibility live more than a few weeks longer, possibly but a few days. That's the sum of it all. He is most pitifully changed. We haven't sent for Henry yet on account of his final exams, though it may be necessary to before they are over. I am very glad I came just when I did, I was so surely needed. I only wish I wasn't such an inefficient little coward!
Thank Gertrude E. for the kind note which reached me this morning. The love that has been showered upon me lately also helps swell the big lump in my throat that is there all the time, - and only two weeks ago to-day I was the very happiest girl of the whole three hundred. Tell Edith too that I read her dear note on the way to Greenfield and that it was such a help. I'll write to them all when I can and will be glad to hear from them at any time.
Have you seen Miss Hazen? Did she say anything about next year? I must write to her soon about a scholarship. Both Papa and Mamma say I must go back, so I am not worrying about that. There is no hope of my going back this year, however.
Don't forget the shoes. If you haven't sent them, please put in the box my Bible topic-book which I left on the shelf. If you have, perhaps you won't mind copying next week's topics into it, then rolling it up and sending it as mdse. Then can you - or stay, ask Gertrude Hyde, or Ellison or someone else for I have already left so much for you to do - send me the topics each week.
Very Affectionately
L. F. B.