[Some paragraph breaks added for ease of reading.]Steubenville Ohio
June 1st 1881My Dear Sister
Your letter came this morning and I feel that I must answer at once or else I will not get it answered at all. My time from this on will be just full. Everything has gone all right so far and I do hope my examinations will be a success. I want to leave a good reputation behind me. Think I will though even if my girls fail. I have firm friends in all the teachers.
But as to the Missionary question. I am sorry you feel so dubious[.] I must say though that many of your fears appear to me to be unfounded[.] As to my being left homeless by Rob's marriage, I am not afraid of that. I do not think he will marry anyone who is not congenial to me and if he does Calvin is still in China and I am very sure I could live with Julia. Then I do not see that my chance will be any "slimmer" than Rob's. As to my being influenced by my friends going I do not think I am at all. I made up my mind to go to China if the way was opened when I was at Holyoke and have been firm in my purpose ever since. No I do not think I can say that I would have broken my engagement anyway if the missionary matter were entirely out of the question. I do not know what I would have done for I cannot think of Mervin and leave it out. I never have from my first acquaintance with him and just as soon as he decided not to go as a missionary my feelings toward him changed and my affection for him began to ooze. It is no new thing, this question of my going either with me or mother. I asked her solemnly and earnestly two years ago if I might go and she said yes as far as she was concerned. She still says so even if I go alone. I have prayed ever since that the way might be opened and now I think it is.
Mother wants me to have an eye on Mr Porter[.] Dr Smith has a friend another Doctor whom he wants me to marry and I have had a proposal from Dr Thompson of Cincinnati all that does not look much like going or rather staying single. I have made up my mind not to marry before I go both on account of public opinion and Mervins feelings but I do not say that I will not have some understanding on the subject. I have refused Dr Thompson because I dont want him. J. B. Porter I am quite sure will not want me. Of Dr Stubbert I have some hopes. I like all I have heard about him very much indeed. I am to stand up with him at Annie's wedding so I will get a little chance to become acquainted with him. He will have to be just about perfect though if I fall in love with him for I am not in a fit condition to lose myself in anyone[.] However I am not building on having any man but Rob. and in spite of my disposition I think with God's grace to sustain me I can devote my life to His service and be happy and contented in my work if I am alone in the world. The reason I have found teaching irksome last year and this is because I have undertaken too much and had to work too hard.
Now with regard to your coming here my verdict would be decidedly no I would not come back here even if I taught some place else next year and I would not want you to bring the girls here. This year has been delightful because Dr Reid has been away and we have had things to ourselves. Mrs Reid and her daughters have had some disgraceful scenes at the table and elsewhere but it is nothing like when Dr Reid is at home. They fight all the time then. Dr Reid has had his name associated with some of the younger teachers for years. The one whose place I take was asked to leave because Mrs Reid made a fuss and would not put up with them any longer. Dr Reid was entirely too familiar with her. This is what is injuring the school so much. It is known and talked about all over the region of the country and people wont send their girls here. I cannot be thankful enough that Dr R. has been away for I would doubtless been talked about too though I certainly should have had more scars [?] than the one who was here last year. You would not be able to do all they expect of their teachers either Mrs R. is very exacting.
I have not time for more. Have written this by pieces. Write me just when you can. If you would like me to ask about a position here for you I will do so. With ever so much love I am Sister