9/23/21Lady, dear.
How did the N.Y. party go. I thought of you at dinner Sunday. Your capacity for enjoyment is my admiration & despair. It is the secret of a successful life in the true sense of that term. I smiled at the place in your letter where you spoke of being glad that our friendship remains & you haven't lost me. The danger is on my side. When will you lose patience with me because of the growing limitations of a one track mind? That is a question that haunts me with all my friends. I have no interest & just no refreshment in their diversions & recreations. Just now I can keep from showing it, & get by, but who will want me around in 10 years. They have written me this summer of tromping, of views from mountains, of sailing, of the moon on the ocean, of glorious days in the open & wish I were there to enjoy them. I reply in the affirmative, but in my heart I am rather glad I am not, for my lack of enthusiasm might hurt them, or at least mar the relationship between us. I would pawn my soul to get pleasure from the color of a flower, or a glimpse of sky, or the gist of a game. But I seem cursed by a path that decrees that nothing sets the blood bounding thro' me like the sight of human suffering especially in my own line of disease. This is not right, but I cannot seem to change it.
A week from tomorrow I go back. The harvesting is over, & I have cleaned & painted the 3 stoves, & refinished household wardrobes. I am really anxious to get back to the place where my life seems to lie.
Please keep on loving me if you can.