Sherborn, Mass.
Aug. 11, 1920.Lady dear,
The lettergram & the long trailer were received on my return from seeing the chief at his summer camp near Worcester. I had a delightfully informal week end. Of course I returned with all that vivacity & inspiration which I always get in coming in contact with him; & also with that painful consciousness of the huge gap between us. We talked of many things. His idea is that I supervise the practical teaching on the wards & in the dispensary getting house & visiting staffs to do the drudgery. I am to have 2 days a week for my research. I am already at work on my program the outline of which I send him soon. (And by the way this change of affairs is not supposed to be announced till he returns to Balto. the first of Sept.)
I begged off on ward rounds for the house staff twice a week. At least I think so. Shall take the time for attention to the nursing situation which the chief does not seem inclined to take up, but rather put on the table as unfinished business. Personally I feel that unless something is done with that matter this winter that we shall have an awful blow out. Of course I cannot take the initiative, because it is not my place.
I shall not give any elective courses this year because I have had no time to prepare for them.
We did not mention private work. I thought I'd wait till I got down there & when the pressure rises I'll yell. Maybe he has decided to take more himself this year. At any rate that discussion will come later.
Now as to this getting work out of house & visiting staff. It is a diplomatic task that will have its trials. Of course I have had to contend with some jealousy for several years & now I shall be wtched more closely than ever. It does get my goat at times, & I go home & blow off steam, but on the whole I pay little attention to it. I go about without creating friction, & if it is forced upon me I ignore it as far as possible. Everyone has it more or less according to his job. I'd hate to think I could not rise about it & had to run from it. Of course I've been in this "professional body" at Hopkins for year & a half now. Dr. Scott was a thorn in the flesh, particularly last year, but she was the same to the chief. I felt sorry for her. She has gone of course. The Resident is a Jew who graduated in Ruth Guy's class. He is secretly antagonistic, but as much so to the chief as to me. My new job will have a direct curb on him which will be gall & wormwood to him. I despise him thoroughly for his disloyalty to the Chief, his "leg pulling," & general opportunism. This feeling of mine is generally shared by nurses & everybody else. I don't think he'll do anything but throw mud behind my back. I anticipate no trouble with the house staff. They are old students of mine & I have never had any trouble in getting along with students.
The visiting staff from other hospitals who are there certain mornings a week will be a more delicate subject. On Tues. & Fri. A.M. there is a half hour clinic from 11.30 to 12 to sum up all the morning material in the Disp. I asked the chief if he wouldn't take this for me as I shrank from presiding over a conference where men who were there when I was a student 5 years ago would have to sit & listen. The Chief gave his firm negative saying that if he had wished to formate [?] them he'd have done so, & that if they didn't like it they could leave. He said he considered me perfectly competent to fill Dr. C's place & he wanted the world to know it. Now that's mighty nice etc. but I know my limitations. He thinks I lack self-confidence & I am too modest. I don't think those are my faults. He has an altogether mistaken idea of my ability, tho' I've told him again & again the true state of affairs. Someday I shall fall & then I cannot bear to think of his disappointment. However, I try not to think of the fall which is most depressing, but to concentrate my attention on doing the 2 or 3 things I can do.
Please write me often. I'm sorry to hear of your mother's fall. Does it discourage her? So much love to you.
By the way, I hear nothing from Dr. Raymond of Wellesley or Miss M. in regard to that freshman. What does it anger [?], think you? The letter was written July 12th.