David J. Richards
R.F.D.
Sherborn
MassachusettsAug. 31, 1923
Lady dear,
I'm sending you a leisurely word. That last from Balto. looked as flea bitten as I felt when writing it. The last 10 days getting off were hectic without the plague of fleas, hives & 3 typhoid injections. This transition period from part time to full time has been hard with Dr. Meyer in Europe. We swung into the new budget July 1st, tho' the academic ticket does not begin till Sept. 1st. Some salaries were held up and others over paid. Then too I had to plan for a substitute every day of my absence.
I reached home last Monday A.M. 27th. From something you said in a letter this summer I suspect you feel that I have sought occasion to avoid coming to see you on my summer holiday. I know I have broken several engagements not only with you but with many other friends. I have broken them because I felt that there was nothing else to do, but to follow the path of duty as I saw it. No one can appreciate that fact unless he came here & saw things as they are. For years I have realized that this farm was too much for father to carry on. While he was able to work he made more than his expenses, but in the last few years he has barely come out even. He could not see that a comfortable home with a cow or two, a garden that he could manage himself & an opportunity for us all to get a bit of joy before death would be a desirable thing. He insisted on "keeping up the farm" from a fertility standpoint. He has put up 2 silos & raised a herd of 30 thoroughbred jersey cattle. Augustus has taken the attitude, "Too bad! but it's his own funeral." With this philosophy he has come home each summer with his family & spend about 2 or 3 mos. This time he has enjoyed in motoring, canoeing, fishing, sleeping & eating. I wish I could have done the same, but there is something in me that forbids it. I couldn't nag at father to modify his ways, neither could I sit down & watch him work. Consequently my vacations have been spent in constant physical labor from 6 A.M. till 7 P.M. From it I have had the satisfaction of feeling that I have done what I believed to be right. Last fall the kind man we have had for 13 yrs. left, & all winter father was dependent on day's labor. They come when they wanted to, & when there was a flurry of snow they didn't come. At Christmas when I was home we were alone for 5 days during a blizzard, wading thro' snow waist deep to carry milk to the road. At last father begins to see the light I think chiefly by reason of the fact this [...] his physical infirmaties have increased. His tremors are diffuse & coarse & involve all the musculation of the body with a certain amount of paralysis. He chokes easily. Within a week or two the cows are being tested for tbc & I am having masses said that at least 15 will be condemned. I have no faith in the test, but in this particular instance I shall be grateful for its usefulness. Father is not averse to the idea either. He then plans to sell the others as fast [as] they freshen. I am indeed grateful for this change of view. We begin to cut for silo Sept. 10th. I hope it will be the last year I officiate.
My new Ford runs OK, & it's certainly a necessity.
Dr. Meyer has not yet returned to Balto. & does not till Sept. 15th. In the meantime the Clinic mail is forwarded daily. On today's I get a special from lady in N.Y.C. "a psychiatrist" who has studied with Bleuber in Zurich. Says she has written the Chief who referred her to me. Lemon inspection is also one of my jobs - lemons being the people who wish to study with us. Some fruit. On Oct. 11th I speak in Columbus, Ohio - talk yet to be ground out. The Ohio State Assoc. of Grad. & P.H. Nurses is with me for their annual convention. I didn't want to go but felt it my duty. I am thinking of putting my Bryn Mawr lectures of last spring into popular form for the "Atlantic." The Chief writes he is considering an additional requirement for 3rd year students to be taken under me. He has already turned down 2 men who applied for the job of my assistant for the coming year. I don't understand it. He tells me I am overworked & need help, but when I urge another member of the staff taking some of my work he talks & says not just yet. He's quite willing they should purpose the cases for my presentation, but I can see why they clamor for more representation. He cannot. In the meantime I feel tired & sick of life. Passion looks good to me. I didn't see my way out of it. Perhaps if I were bigger I wouldn't feel oppressed.
I love you.