En route Framingham to Springfield. Feb. 22nd.Lady dear,
I'm mighty sorry littel things such as you describe in your domestic life hae to be. It is bad eno' to have them anyway but add them to the strain of teaching & academic responsibilities & living in So. Hadley, and I don't see how you stand it. You wouldn't either unless it were for that God-given sweetness of temper which you have. Last week was the first time I've been back to College during its session since I graduated. And how my reaction to the atmosphere has changed. It seemed ideal when I left 7 yrs ago, and now it might suffocate me if I stayed there long enough. Everything then is as protected as a hot-house, even one's ideals & aims. It is like playing with life in a way - this commonplace life in which we are born & die in soul & body. As I sat on the platform the other night & looked out I was reminded of those lines from Wordsworth.
"Too soon thy soul shall have its earthly freight, and custom lie upon thee
Heavy as frost, and deep almost as night."It is as it should be for the girls. They need this quiet from years as a lifelong background for the ones to come. But how do you teachers keep fresh & sweet & sane? I couldn't! I know that.. And you, poor Lady! with all those home cares & disappointments.
Father saw your letter & asked if he might read it. He said you are one friend in a world. So is he; and I have two! Don't hurt my feelings by apologizing for criticisms and suggestions you make on my efforts, character or behavior. No one except father has a better right. I got a lot of wisdom out of that floundering around I did the other night. The part that grieves me is that the girls didn't get ever any knowledge. Taking too much for granted on the part of one's auditors is a thing for which Dr. Meyer is constantly criticized & by none so sincerely as by me. The fool I made of myself the other evening is well worth the lesson it taught me. I'm going to keep at it until I do this thing right. You'll hear me again [?] yet once, if you'll be good enough, & I'm sure I shall do a better job.
I had a pleasant glimpse of you all, & enjoyed every minute of it even to Amy Hewes.
My stay at home was pleasanter than I anticipated, & I'm glad I went. Father looks well & doesn't seem to be working harder than is good for him. I had a glorious time with the young stock in the barn. You know we have thoroughbred jerseys & they are little beauties. Oh! love them every one. We have one cow imported from the Island of Jersey, and you should see her head. The calves are small & downy, and I roll around with them to my heart's content. Nothing in the world rests me as much. I often threaten to quit medicine & go into dairy farming. Maybe I shall do it someday.
Mother is as usual. Physically in good shape, but mentally unbalanced. I don't think she wears on father very much. He's built on a larger scale than ordinary people like his children.
I hope you had a much-needed charge in N.Y.C. Remember me to Miss Morgan & Lucy.
Affect.
Esther