New Alstead, Mar. 15. 1847.
Monday. eve.My very dear Emily -
My leisure moments to night shall be devoted to my dear Emily - I've been trying all the day long to shut away for a while to write you, but have failed in the attempt. To night finds me watching beside poor suffering Louise - while she sleeps my pen shall trace words to the absent
one- cannot tell you half the pleasure your very kind letter gave Ange so like your very self it seemed that I could hardly persuade myself, I did not indeed hear the gentle tones of Emmy dear. How much I wish to see you, and talk with you - would not our theme be love of Jesus, his great goodnes[s] toward us, in (as we humbly trust) permiting us to share his pardoning mercy? O Emily may our whole souls be drawn out in love to the blessed savior; and all our faculties unite in praising God for what he has done for our fallen race - O what is to be compared with the love of Jesus? Surely it passeth all knowledge - sometimes when thinking of the Sem. and its privileges, I feel that I cannot stay away a moment, I must go, but if my eye falls upon dear father or poor Louise I fondly cling to them, and naught would induce me to separate myself from the dear ones - Of father what shall I tell Emily? O can it be, that it is probablethatere this reaches her Ange will be fatherless! The conflicting, agonizing emotions that rend my well night broken heart, imagination will point out to Emmy better than my pen can discribe [sic] them - O may I feel that it is the hand of God, laid thus heavily upon us, and be silent, knowing that he doeth all things right - It is so sweet to trust all in the arms of Jesus, with this blessed assurance, that he will never leave nor forsake us. May I not be assured of Emma's warmest sympathy? Will she not remember me with fervent intercessions at the throne of grace? I love to think we may there meet and mingle our petitions to a most gracious sovereign - I do greatly need your prayers in this trying time -Father has been much worse the week past, suffering extremely at times. Saturday night we thought him dying several times, but he revived in the morning and remained easier through the day - passed a very distressed night again, and to day he has suffered much. Prouty when he left us tonight remarked 'you will never see him better' -
O may God grant us the rich consolations of his holy spirit, and prove indeed to us, a refuge in time of trouble. Past two oclock - I'm so tired and almost sick, how gladly would I lie down, but Angy has not slept but some two or three nights since coming from Hadley - I move [?] all the night - at a time [?] - Julia is very unwell - is unable to assist in taking of the sick ones - so mother and myself are obliged to "bear the burden of the day" - Frank is watching with father - we are truly grateful for his kindness - your 'goodmother' watched with Louise last night - I do reverence your mother very much - I hardly know what [to] tell you about returning - probably not before next term - you ask me if I would like to room with you should I return - most certainly I would love much to - could you bear with me - would we not be dearer roommates? I trust we should - I would try and be more kind and obliging to dear Emily were I permited [sic] to enter into that relation again[.] Has Elvira returned? will you please write me?
Give very much love to all the dear girls who inquire after me - May I not expect a letter from Emily soon, very soon? Do write me a long letter - I shall be so anxious to hear from you - Will you pardon and excuse this hasty message? for I am half asleep and hardly know what Ive [sic] written - the last ten minutes - - Good night - may the light of a pure spirit ever make your pathway bright - is the earnest prayer of
Ange
Louise sends love to Emily - and Ang more than mere words can express -
[A search of New Alstead students named Ange revealed that the letter writer is Angeline Kidder x1849. Her father, Ezra Kidder, died April 7, 1847.]