[Two sizes of stationery. This short note was on the larger stationery.]My dear Miss Turner,
Will you please excuse the variety of paper? I had to destroy the last small envelope, once sealed and addressed, because I could not remember writing your name on the check, and did not want to risk the error.
Very sincerely,
Dorothy C. Rowell.[The letter on the smaller stationery begins here.]
Venice Italy.
June 5, 1910.My dear Miss Turner,
Let me send congratulations on the award of the fellowship! Miss Smith sent me the newspaper clipping about it, which told also of Grace Hadley's fellowship, so I suppose my sister will enjoy her company at Chicago another year.
As to the Woman's Education Association, I am quite sure, in spite of your modest account, that they found good reason for preferring you, among 'many and learned applicants.'
As to the loan, - I shall enclose a check for $300, and hope that if this is in your hands by July 1, a possible short delay of the other half will not prove too inconvenient. I am very sorry not to send all together, - this is due to a series of complications in California which I had not anticipated, and which my long stay out of reach of mails, at one time for seventeen days, rendered unavoidable. I am not in the least short of funds, but must wait to hear from my sister that she has transferred more to the bank I draw from. Her letter should reach me in plenty of time, and in case I do not hear, can send from this side. I think even two weeks later, by June 20, I could still reach you easily the first week in July.
You speak of interest; - do you know, I had not thought of that. I am probably very impractical in such matters, but what I wanted more, was the personal interest, in your work, as from time to time I hear it spoken of. To me, the business arrangement, such as could be made with a bank, would block this gateway on my side for outward thought, a new line of interest away from my own very narrow life.
If you are willing, then, will you agree to my fantastical whim, and let whatever amounts you feel ready to return accumulate as principal, to be used a little sooner, perhaps, in a similar way. I know the obligation of a definite interest may be about burden in itself, and you certainly will have enough to meet for awhile. If it is any more agreeable for you in the end, to add something to the principal, of course I shall not object, but there need be no obligation, nor thought of it till that time comes, nor any hurry about any repayment.
You will no doubt think me rather queer about this, and it would be hard for me to explain my own point of view. It is enough, perhaps, to say that I have had a very intense life, - with some hard experiences, hard internally, so that until this year, there is hardly one I can remember that has been so free, almost completely so, from care and bitterness. I know that I feel younger now than since my first school years. The intense, and often bitter, thoughts have turned inward, and I never realized until this year, when I came abroad principally to gain balance, and a perspective impossible near the sources of troubles, - how hard it could be to get out of myself. More than one good friend has tried to help. They have done much, but I find the best sort of relief comes from such new interests as I can gain for myself, especially, personal interests in people who have the qualities I lack, who have learned how to make life worth while to others.
It may be a curious, craving, more instinct than reason, but one it seems good to satisfy. Will you pardon this confidence? I may have said more than was needed. Nor do I know your ways well, - will you too speak frankly if our purposes seem to cross?
It has just occurred to me that I may be in Boston some time next year, a city I have never visited, and no doubt, with its museum, library, historic spots, and opportunities for hearing music, well worth the visit. If I do come, I hope it will be at some time when you will have a bit of free time for me to call, for I should be glad to get better acquainted.
Just at present I have left the party, and am traveling with an aunt who came over just to keep me company.
It has been like a little family reunion at times, when we enjoyed short visits with my younger sisters, Olive and Ruth, and their California friends. They are to sail this week, so we shall not see them again until next year, perhaps at Holyoke and Vassar.
For some days we have been enjoying Venice. Now my head is full of plans for the Italian Lakes. The map and Baedecker description are, after long study, like a Chinese puzzle, and how to plan it, seems a hopeless problem. Tomorrow I shall go to Cooks for help. Germany is going to be a problem too, for the long distances, but these I know the ground to some extent, and at least can speak the language enough to get about.
Did you ever go through Cortina? Miss Smith has, I am sure. We have come from six delightful days there, - such a contract from there to Venice!
Sincerely yours,
Dorothy C. Rowell.Address, 250 Rue de Rivoli, Paris.