"Just before the battle, mother
I was thinking most of you" -
I can't quote any farther by reason of the parody
"Just behind the bottle, mother
I was drinking mountain dew
When the enemy came marching
To the rear I quickly flew!"
I've put away my books not to look at 'em again until after the fray. There's a perfectly good half day tomorrow but I'm not going to cram in it. I'll pack my Mt. H- books, and your possessions for Newburyport, and perchance walk around Fresh Pond as I did before dinner tonight. I ramble in Cambridge without a map, and occasionally the car-lines don't bend as I expect them to do! The meadows around Fresh Pond are full of daisies, buttercups and clover, very lovely. There are lots of red-wings and one bob-o-link! It's a reservoir and the boulevard is fine - about 2 miles + around, I guess. It's big enough and has enough city-owned vacant land around it to give space for breezes. Very few people, too - only a few automobiles. The roses are beginning to open everywhere. The city has set out a lot of nice little wild looking single pink ones out that way that are a delight.
Have a cheering postal from Janey to this effect. "Good luck! Don't fire until you can see the whites of their eyes!" Isn't that like her? But methinks they'll do the firing! I know a few little things, honey, but whether they'll be the dishes the gentlemen calls [sic] for, who knows. However, I was able to take a nap this P.M. Hope I'll not be so petrified as to be unable to keep my head. And I don't want to shake like any old aspen leaf either!
Mr. Cleveland got to telling funny stories tonight. He'd do it better if he did it oftener. But, golly - think of walking into the problem of amalgamating two big High Schools in the middle of the year! He works hard. Doesn't often leave the school-house before six o'clock. He enjoys his Saturday golf, though, rain or shine, and he enjoys the teaching work and administration, too. We like him more all the time. Oh, Roosevelt comes here the 8th to speak! Mr. Cleveland and I have fine times over T.R. But I tell you I'm going to hear him if possible! He is a big man, even if some inflated as well.
The Smith commencement is big, I hear - 2000 alumnae or some such number to honor Pres. Seelye's last year. I'll read my Rep. tomorrow if it comes - and hope for Roosevelt editorials to quote to Mr. Cleveland. Of course I don't have any Mt. H- letters - they're all too busy. Guess it hasn't actually rained on them today, but it's been grey all day here.
Good night, honey. Tomorrow night I'll be either much more cheerful or much more mournful, and no man knoweth now which. Oh - Caroline Thompson has long Cortina postcards exactly like mine framed, and they are fine. I've decided, if I don't flunk, I'll hunt up some cheap place and have little black frames like hers put on. I can't bear to have them get spoiled, and yet I feel as if I had to have 'em up. Maybe if I flunk I'll need consolation especially and so have to have them done all the more!
Well, it's over and I'm still alive. Didn't flunk it - but I don't feel particularly pleased with the outcome - no glory, but it's something to get through! There were some things I ought to have known and didn't, some I did know and didn't say, some cases where the gentlemen happened on things I'd just neglected but about which there was no great disgrace, and some cases where they asked me things they had no business to ask, also one case where I know I answered differently from what was expected but where I answered as I think was right! The manner of it was this - I met Dr. Porter as I went into the building - he said the cheerful things one says at a funeral, and I - talked about his garden! I don't like him when he is perfunctory. Well - he went over at 1:45 and I a minute before two. I'd told him I'd wait on the out-skirts until he came out from the preliminary committee meeting to get me. A boy interred me in Dean Christian's elegant private office where I read the Dental School catalogue until 2:12 or so. Then Dr. Porter came for me and told me to sit by the black-board. The room is immense, worthy of a German university in its portraits &c. The table in the centre is a mile long - these men made a little island at one end, and a microscopic islet thus
[Names are: Bremer, Porter, Parker, Councilman?, Theo. Smith, Cannon, Lewis, Minot
A.H.T. is near the blackboard.]
That proportion is about right. The dashed line is the wall line.
I expected a remark from the chairman but got a question from Dr. Porter instead. I hitched some, but managed to talk on and get in a few points that were right. After that I wasn't much scared, and only once did I get rattled enough to be able to say nothing when I really knew. Well, Dr. Porter kept on for quite a long time. Finally he stopped. Then Dr. Minot took up the refrain. I knew some things he asked me. Then Dr. Parker - who just by chance lighted on the groups I knew least about, but we worried along. He is an angel, that man. It comforted me to have him there, even if I didn't know him or the things he asked me. Oh, a while before this Dr. Councilman retired. It may have been the elder Warren but I think not. Then Dr. Cannon said as how Dr. Tolin had instructed Chem. to him, so we went on a spell. I'd rather have had Dr. Tonlin, but Dr. Cannon was nice - only I know the Tolin gospel surprised him at one point. Then Dr. Bremer politely abrogated his privileges (for which I thanked him internally) Then Dr. Lewis was nasty - he asked me histology questions and I know no histology - never offered any. Of course I didn't know anything - that was when I got rattled. Then Dr. Smith asked me quite a string of questions bordering on the edge of bacteriology.
Then the gentlemen excused me - 3:35, I think. Then Dr. Porter accompanied me out & asked me to wait for the "favorable verdict." I neglected to say that the gentlemen retired to more comfortable sofas &c at intervals. I could see 'em murmuring in the background. I read the notices for a few minutes, and Dr. Porter then came forth and told me they were unanimous in saying I had passed. He implied it wasn't a disgrace - but I really did know more than I appeared to, I'm sure. I'm going to slay Dr. Lewis. He's nice - but so darned rigid. He is just out for Mr. Hoskins tomorrow, the man who has a final. This is secretarial gossip - I saw three secretaries before I left, nice friendly souls. It was nice to talk to somebody.
Well - I've done as well as I could, considering. And I didn't faint away, or shake visibly anyhow. Don't think I shook any - can't remember it - tho I felt sort of vacant at that first question. As an ordeal this is worse than the final, since at that there is only the thesis and associated regions about which the victim knows more than anybody present and knows he knows more. But golly - think of little me in the presence of all those today! Dr. Bremer and Dr. Lewis aren't so great, but all the others are guns of the first order. I'm glad it's over with, even though I tried to be as calm as possible. Last night I did dream dreams that weren't pleasant - e.g. of sleeping over the time and not going, but aside from that I've really done pretty well. I'm no wreck at all, honey.
"I see there's a mail tomorrow so I guess you'll get this. Hope the steamer address is o.k. It seems queer to have a Str in Antwerp. Just occurred to me that might be the stateroom number - I've looked at your letter again, and am still puzzled. But I'll try to arrnage the envelope so as to fit any case - like my Boston collar "one size fits any neck!" I'll send you the Rep. clippings if there's a fast boat. Haven't read the one paper that's come myself yet. The Mt. H- has come but I'll not send that. Guess you can get one more letter. I'm glad you're coming.
It's the first hot day - but I haven't thought of that at all!