Saturday evening
[Oct 16, 1852]
[In pencil, perhaps the date received: "Oct 26 /52"]Dear sister Caroline -
It is Saturday evening, and instead of going to bed, like a good girl, I am a going to sit up and talk with you a little while, who seems to be far, far away. I dont expect that this will reach you any sooner tho, but I dont care if I am only ocupyed [sic] thus. We received Em's letter last night, as we were sitting at the table, I asked pa weather [sic] he had any letter's, and he said that he had forgotten all about it. Joseph asked who it was for, pa said for the corispondent, [sic] I took it, and that was the last that I cared for the supper, pa wants me to ask you to ask some of those Seminary girls what rule in philosophy teaches that a letter is as good as supper, to one who five minutes before was so hungry, she could not wait for the kettle to boil, he thinks it will be a stumper for any of them. I think is [sic] must be the same rule as Miss Chapin goes to, about the ride, dont you think so? Caro, I can not imagine how it was that you were nine days without hearing from any of us. I am sure it was not my fault for pa told Mr. Beecher that it seemed to him as if I wrote every day, and pretty soon, he should have to put his hand in his pocket and look for the shinies, [?] I dont believe that there is any danger tho. I want you to tell, "poor me," that if I can rake and scrape a doller [sic] together I shall send it to her, for do you suppose that I would have it on her account book, "only one cent," No indeed my sister, that aint me. Ma says Em ought to have thought about her knitting before, but if she needs them, she can get them at Springfield. Caro do they call you Mary or Caroline? Tell Em that I think she is real lazy to take her one whole week, when you write so many, but dear! me, I suppose that I should be lazier, if I was in her place, do you have to learn the lingo at the foot of Em's long epistal, but there it comes again. Come Em, forgive me this time and I wont say it again, but dear me! She acts like an old hen with her dozen of chickens about her, she is so figity, because I wont come to bed, and she thinks two things, one is that I ought to write in deasent [sic] hours and the other that I might let a body see what I do write.
This morning pa was up in the "susy sweeting" tree shaking it when a branch hit him in his eye and bruised it and it has pained him very much all day, it is very inflaimed and looks blood shot, he has had cold water on it all day and to night he went to bed early, he hoopes that it will be better in the morning but thinks he cannot go to curch, but I shall have to say good night, as Sue is at me again about going to bed, I shall finish on Monday. Have you seen any thing of the box, but I suppose it is hardly time yet, but again to both of you good night, "it is oftener eight than ten when we retire now that you are gone.
Monday afternoon.
I hope you will give (measure for measure) this time.
Dear Caro, I began this Saturday evening, but do not expect to send it until tomorro Jo sent his to day and pa cant afford to send you "six pence worth of news" in one day, yesterday we all went up to church and Sabbath school, the text in the morning was from Matthew 22 chap from the 37 to the 40th verse, the church was crowded and in the afternoon I forget when, but it was, The spirit he[l]peth our infirmities, for we knew not what to pray for as we ought. They were most excellent sermons, so pa thought, and I was very much interested in them. I think Mr. Beechers sermons are more and more interesting. In the evening there was prayer and inquiring meetings, Mr. Beecher wanted pa to come up, but pa was so tired he could not go. We read hebrews through last night and we was singing, "Awake my soul to joyful lays." and pa began to sing it too, which made ma and Sue laught, [sic] pa asked them what they were laughing about, wether they didn't want him to learn to sing.This morning Sue and I rode up to Newark with pa, for the first time ('on a week day') since you left us, and this afternoon ma has gone with pa to a temperence meeting. Tuesday morning. 4 and a minute by the clock. Now Caroline you must not laugh if I tell you what brought "Grannie" up at this early hour, the folks are harping at me all the time because I am so lazy in the morning, but I tell them I am not because every morning I wake up between 4 and 5 oclock and then by six am so sleepy that I cant get up. Well yesterday pa told me to get up and call him for he didn't care if he should get up too[.] So this morning I woke up and rose and shut my door. I began to dress and fix my hair, not knowing wether Sue would wake up or not after I was through, I took a light to see what time it was when lo! and behold! it was but just 4,oclock so I made a fire in the 'air tight' and went to wake pa up when he said I had better go to bed, he did not mean for me to get up at 4 oclock, but I thought so much as I had the fire made I would just sit down and finish my letter, which I ought to have done last night but could [not on account] of a severe head ache (which does not come weekly but daily nowadays). Caroline I find that it is very hard for me to remember things, and when I try to help Sue in her sums in the compound rules, it seemes to entirely pass from my head, and she can do them more easily than I can all thou I understand them, I don't know wether I shall have my head firm again, I have headaches more and they are more severe than they were a month ago, I find that on sabbaths, that before I have been sitting half an hour in church it seems as if I would go crazy and I often feel so faint that it seemes that if I could but get upon a bed, it would be the greatest mercie that any body could buy me, but no body but yourself and myself know this, for do you thinke I would away from church for it? no indeed if I could help it, it makes me completely discouraged about even trinig [sic] to study or any thing else, what shall I do? or what can I do? I know not, but Caroline I want to tell you something, but I know not how to express it. Oh! If you coudl only sit in this 'big rocking chair,' for at least five minets I could tell you all but this paper is so deceitful I know not how to tell the truth, if you have felt the same, I know not, but I think not, "The Hart is deceitful above all things," so our minister tells us, but ah! I have seen it before but never felt it. My tale is told Oh! dear what shall I do?-----------
dont forget, the private paper. We are very busy in getting Joseph ready for Oberlain. [sic] We expect to go to New York this week some time I don't want to go but ma says that a change will "be good for me"
Dear sister Em
I am now at half past four oclock sitting at ma's red table in our sitting room by our new stove which is realy [sic] beautiful, I wish that you could see it. Hill Cottage stands still yet the same as it did before you left it, except we rise at six oclock and retire at eight or half past. Em do you realy waste eight long hours on Composition stuff? I dont know what you do any way in so long a time. Do you have the subject given you or do you choose for yourself? What do you mean by writing letters home in "silent study hour"? you better be carefull I can tell you, Miss Em unless I should report to Miss Chapin. I suppose I can not write any more to you as there are so many notes to put in, that is just the way, but the last I sent when they did not know it, Em this is not an Epistal but a post script. to fill out the page, if I have time I will add another one how many fences have you climbed within the last week? I called out a letter for me I know, for Caro said that Em was a going to write, so Pa said that because I spoke first he would not show it to me until I had helped the potatoes, for they would get get cold if he waited for my motion. After I did so, he handed it to me when lo! and behold! it was for Joseph. Mrs. Woodhull thought she would tell Jimnie that Miss Emily Ward and her sister realy know how to jump over fences, and think that Miss Amanda, ought to know better than stealing other folkses nuts, if it was here we would set the big dog on her, but we have not any to set on her as it is just now. but you need not tell her that you have got such a wicked sister, as to say so. do you have to walk a certain distance or can you walk as much as you are a might to? do you go all together as Miss Spaldings schoolers did or do you go alone. I do not think that one of the teachers were with you when you tried your skill leaping fences any way.
What are carlisthenics? How does the sewing get along, have you made up all that linen that ma gave you? do you find time to make your dresses smaller. Ma wants me to ask you weather the girls dress much, and how your's appears. Do you wear your watch and does it keep right time or does it only go when you do. We have got the news stoves up and the one in the dining room is realy beautiful with the urn on next week we are a going to get the oil cloath, and the week after on Friday is Willies birth day, I am a going to get him a little hatchet and Sue a hammer, and if nothing hapens he is going to have a party, he and Sue are very busy prepairing the mattoes or rather fixing the papers, for the candy. We are a going to have the children in the dining room and the table in the nurcery. I suppose that there will be a great time. But Pa calles up the stove pipe to say that if I write any more he guesses that I will empty my brain, and so I am called I must say good buy for the present.
Friday afternoon.
The last time I had my pen in hand I was disturbed from finishing for ma wanted me to come and make the impudence for the apple dumplings, now I am through with making and eating it and am all cleared up. But I want to tell you about your flower bed, althou we have had some severe frosts, yet it has not disturbed the bed. The rose bushes are all in blossom and full of buds and the white lilies are as green and fresh as ever the white rose bush at the front door has a great number of buds on and one rose, I picked a boquet last Thursday which kept a week and then looked as fresh as when it was picked. Last night I sent one up to Jimnie, but I believe I told Caroline that I would add a P.S. to her and I must fulfill my promose, so sister Em. good buy. Save your tears and dont wet the pillowcases.Em write for yourself. Tillie.
P.S. Now Sister Caro, one thing more and I will stop, for Pa thinks that if you and I write every day that we will make him as poor as Job's rats, soon, but ma says I dont care so that I hear from them. But I want to know if this will not do, for me as well as Phebe Hall's, eight pages. For I am sure that I scrape and rake my brain for more, but all in vain, and you ask her if the friend that writes such long letters has not a larger brain than your little Tillie, for I strive to compete but I can not, but no matter I will make it out and more befor the winter is out, you see if I dont, but dont tell her, for I am afraid that she will tell and so get more. but I think that she does not get them as often as you do.
Willie says tell Caroline that Pa is about buying me a new saddle. so that I can ride every day. Sue thinks that you ought to answer hers and Willies letter. Caro dont you tell Phebe Hall what I said about that journal, for I know it was nothing else. Pa thinks that if I write any more I shall have to put two stamps on it, therefore I am still Tillie.
Do you go to church twice or three times on the sabbath? how is the rest of your time occupied, when sabbath morning comes dont you wish it could so happen that Mr Beecher would preach. Miss Haines began to teach last sabbath for the first time. Electa sends her love. You dont know how sister sick I am, it does seem so lonesome at Hill Cottage nowadays. I dont know what is the matter. I wish that I could send you this rose bud it does look so beautiful. When does your room mate leave you.
Tillie
Tell Em that next time she may expect to see a dollar for her pa owes it to me and soon he will pay me then I will send it to (poor me) What had I better begin to read or study? Tillie
I think if the post master should open and see all the news that goes for (three sents) he would be astonished dont you think so. Tillie.
Enclosed is one dollar for 'poor me' it is the wages which pa gave Sue and me for our two weeks work and we send it to you. Dont spend it all for candy. Last night we with Willie went to the Orphan aslyum [sic] examination in our church I have not got room to tell you about it it was very interesting they recited Geography and Colburn. Oh! that I knew as much as some of thoes [sic] smallest children do! to hear them repeat the longest questions in Colburn with as much ease as if it was A,b,C. Mr Beecher had the mangement [sic] of it altho a great many ministers took part. Dr Stearns adressed [sic] the children which was very interesting. Tillie