[Some paragraph marks added for ease of reading.]Kingsville June 5. 1850.
Dear Sister Carrie
After a long delay I received your letter last week and you may be assured it was acceptable[.] Had I not long since tested your friendship I should almost have thought you had forgotten me it is so unusual for you to keep a letter a long time without answering it. I should have replied to yours immediately but I had on hand several unanswered on receiving yours.
I read yours with deep interest mingled with grief. I thank you for unfolding so fully to me your feelings I had long desired to know something of them but could not speak to you of them fearing you would choose not to say anything about them. I confess Carrie it gave me peculiar feelings when I heard that further correspondence was discontinued between you and L-- and you had told me nothing of it. I felt it was a duty you owed me as a friend and confidant yet upon considering the unpleasantness it would occasion you and perhaps myself I presume it was for the best. It truly seems a mystery, and I deeply regret that it could not have been otherwise. I know you must have had bitter feelings of agony, I often observed and spoke to you, about appearing sad but did not think of anything of that nature. I am sorry if I have caused you any unpleasantness by my former letters, [sic] You have indeed ever been to me as a sister, you have been exceedingly kind and forbearing towards me, much more so than I deserved, and now Carrie if I have injured your feeling will you pardon me, for I certainly love you most sincerely.
It is true I carefully avoided saying anything of Lucian's marriage for how could I mention it to you, since the last time we spoke of him it was my expectation that you would fill the place now occupied by another, but now he is married and everyone knows it so it need be no longer a task for me to speak of him to you. I saw his wife when at H-, and wrote you, I believe that she was going to Mt Holyoke, though then I was entirely ignorant of the relation that might exist between us sometime[.] I have received two letters from them since this morning. They seem quite happy. Phebe is a very friendly congenial spirit though rather still. I hope they may ever be happy, and I hope Carrie that you may not have to go through this world alone[.] I do hope you too may find some kindred confiding unreserved heart that will be dearer to you than any has ever been before, I indeed expect to be happy when I can enjoy without interruption the society of that ever dear and still dearer friend, he is indeed a noble soul and this I realize more and more every day[.] He has ever spoken of you in the highest praise, and ever will. I shall hail with delight the day that our union will take place and now my only wish is that you may have as good and kind a friend. I hear from him once in about two weeks, his letters are as usual interesting to me only a little more so. Probably you think you have heard enough upon the subject well I will try to devote the remaining space [to] news in general & particular[.]
6. Thursday evening, I am at home again in my old room my mind is hardly prepared after the labors of the day to interest a friend, yet I trust to find sympathy with you.
We have a very pleasant school this term, as a fine class of students and every thing desirable. I think Guilford will not go [?] in school another term, for there is too much of wild Spence [?] about him to suit the people, He is too easily excited. It is enough to say that he is another Doctor Spencer. - - -
Carrie I cannot write, my hand trembles so I can hardly hold the pen. I wish you were here how quickly would I throw it aside, and have a long social friendly visit with you[.] Mother is just getting tea will you not step in and eat with us, perhaps it might seem like old times, to you it surely would to me. - We have exceedingly dry weather here, there has been no rain of any consequence for nearly three months, every thing is parching up, and there is fair prospect of a great scarcity of provisions the coming year it is indeed a gloomy time with us[.] I hope it is not so every where for if so there must unavoidably be much suffering, nothing can grow without we have [...] soon. It is very warm this afternoon the air oppressive it reminds me somewhat of our "hotbed" last summer, but we must hope [...].
I carried your note to Aunt Harriet and took dinner with her as I frequently do, I intended to have gone again before sending this but the weather has been so warm and the dust so insufferable I could hardly endure to go more than I am obliged to. I love to visit your old house though we are not there they always seem glad to see me yet I cannot satisfy their desire to see Carrie.
I have just received a letter from Luke to-night. He is so unwilling that I should teach I think it doubtful whether I continue longer than this term for I wish not to cause him one [...] You know how he used to feel and now he feels none the less. - -
I cannot feel that I have experienced any occurrences from impaired health yet as he fears I may, I wish to gratify him. I labor six hours a day, feel somewhat fortified at night yet no more for nor as much as when studying. - - - I presume you were not aware that Luke was teaching in Rome. Oneida Co. He wishes me to tell you if you come home this month that you must certainly call as it is on the public thoroughfare. He is there for the Summer term only, of ten weeks, and after graduating expects to return. May it be a happy return. - - - - - -
We are all well, home not heard from Lyman for about a month but expect to when the next steamer comes in,
We have a new minister the one I mentioned to you before he is now married to Miss Lyon a niece of our dear Miss Lyon. I have not yet had any acquaintance with her as she has been here only this week, but I hope to soon. - - -
Miss Perkins thinks she never has received a note from you, but she said she thought she would write one and send in my letter[.] She has gone to gather flowers and will not return in time to write for me to send this out to night so I think I will not [...], Guilford has a Boston class as my time was all taken up before it was organized, Mrs. Lincoln's work [?] is still used and I have no acquaintance with so I had no desire to teach it. - - - - - -
Do not think that I cherish unpleasantness toward s you for the past I do not but still love you as ever and hope this till life shall end, - - I am sure you cannot read this but my excuse was for I have had so much writing to do that I have no time to take pains. Do not wait so long before writing again Mother sends much love
Yours with affection true
Martha.Elder Lockett intends to leave for Mt Vernon this state in two weeks we hardly know how to spare him but suppose we must.
Orlando is wanting to take this to the office so that I cannot look it over.